Why people have extramarital affairs?
Talk about a loaded issue that no one wants to speak about, this is it. Funny thing, affairs have been going on ever since old ages. Extramarital relationships can be loaded with problems, cause despair, and other harms. In addition you have to wrap your maind around all the other issues, there’s that truth and honesty matter, money, age dissimilarity, spiritual education, remorse, and on and on. I anticipate there will be some strong opinions about some of this.
For the intention of this article I should define an affair as a long term, maybe months long relationship of a sexual nature between two individuals of whom one or both are married to other persons, married women for dating.
Why do married people have affairs? There are as many answers as there are seek affair. I think mostly though it is only the human condition, the need for care, belonging, to be wanted and cared for, the caring for others and wanting to be loved and appreciated. Here are a few explanations I have run across.
Biologically we as human beings are all sexual creatures. Nature has us set up to reproduce, to have sex. Sex is enjoyable and exciting, and sex makes us flee the real world for a brief period of time. This euphoria exists for whatever amount of time we are able to keep the adrenalin levels high enough. Some people are able to turn the longing on and off, some are brilliant at controlling it and others are so-so at best. But we all have it, young and old, able bodied and not so able. It is the Human condition. For some of us it is the sex act itself that drives us. For some of us it is the excitement of the pursue. For some of us it is the seduction, for some it is the love for another individual, for some it is the longing to be appreciatedloved, for some it is the entire romance thing. These desires and yearnings can be so strong they rise above the taboos culture has erected against extramarital affairs. For lots of people the yearnings will overcome their fears and make them risk the anger of not only their family, but society too. So why, what is the mechanism?
Sex Addicts, probably some of us are. Sex is extremely good, better then drugs, a natural high. If you are in this group of physically obsessed sex addicts and can find away to have sex and not injure your relatives or anyone else? You would need to minimize the jeopardy you are taking. If you have the approach that a good affair is one that is beneficial to everybody, then good luck.
No love at home, or no romance. I think this is the major group, colossal really. There are many couples whose marital relationships is over, apart from they are happy in the manner they live, and upsetting the extended families is not on their list of things they wish to do. You love your spouse but there is no romance. Then there are the children to consider. Your money are so entwined. You need the medical insurance, and so on. There are a lot of reasons to stay jointly besides love and sex.
Bodily reasons, there are some people who can not have sex. They have physical reasons that prevent them implementing the sex act, at least not with their spouse. An extra-marital affair at times solves the problem while keeping the marriage undamaged.
Avoidance, sadly this is a common cause I fear. One or the other, usually the male is sexually neglecting his lady for a multitude of reasons. As a man I really am grateful to you guys neglecting your wives and making them accessible to us men of romance, making them “hot milfs” Though I still think it is despicable that you are neglectful. Also there is the spouse who is neglectful until the wife or husband has an affair, then they condemn them for doing so, when they where the catalyst. Those who neglect, then condemn, are not just neglectful, but malevolent.
Something is just omitted in the marriage, I can not put my finger on it, but its not there. Maybe its romance that is missing, could be it is a shortage of love, maybe compassion is gone, could be it is the closeness, maybe neglect. Maybe we have simply grown distantly, our ordinary interests diverged. Could be it is that what I want, and what I want to do the rest of my life, is contradictory of what you want. Could be I simply don’t know what I want from the marriage anymore. Could be, just maybe I miss that feeling that when I am with you, it just feels right.
The first reason people give is, they look for the excitement that is missing and so very much longed for.
There are other reasons, the feeling of power, to get away, for financial gain, for vengeance and so on. I am sure there are more reasons why people have affairs then these. I only stop because if this gets too long no one will read it.